Chad Turbosteak vs Lord Nebulon
In the nearest reaches of the galaxy's fifth quadrant was the star system of Paradylia. This star system safely resided in the Hyperspatial Union of Mankind's Alliance of Navigators, or as it was colloquially known, H.U.M.A.N. space. Nestled within this system was the only habitable planet of Farceon-7. Its skies, the envy of the cosmos, had just enough natural SPF—Solar Particle Forecfield—to perfectly protect the residents from a stars harmful rays.
But alas for the people of Farceon-7, trouble loomed among the small asteroids of the system. Known simply as "The Satellites," this hub of pirate predation never stopped scheming against the innocents of Farceon-7. Its people lived in fear of the pirate bands who lived among The Satellites, and parents told scary stories about them to children to induce good behavior through fear tactics. It was there that the evil Lord Nebulon had united all the satellite pirate tribes into one united band called the Nahqee. On this fateful day, Lord Nebulon planned to steal all of the SPF, dooming Farceon-7, and sell it for as much wealth as he could imagine, which was quite a bit.
This could not stand with the H.U.M.A.N. government. Fortunately, Admiral Borgana, seated in her office within the space station of Assyria-5, knew exactly who to call to save the day. "Get Chad Turbosteak here on the triple," she called out to Prusher, the young intern. After a brief moment, Wingcommander Chad Turbosteak was transported into her office, materializing in front of her.
"Turbosteak reporting for duty, ma'am," he said coolly. He was the epitome of space-age panache, a dashing and heroic figure renowned for his bravery and mastery of Turbo-fu.
Borgana called up an outline of the Paradylia system while explaining Nebulon's evil scheme. Then she said, "Turbosteak, your mission, if you want it, is to eliminate Nebulon directly and bring tranquility back to Farceon-7. You're our only hope." Then she added under her breath, "Because Dayne Gersone was too busy."
"Consider it done!" He said with dramatic flair. "Nebulon... is gassed!" He flashed a lopsided grin and ran from the room to his waiting ship, the H.S.S. Chin Line's Charisma.
Normally the trip would take 52 days. But Turbosteak knew that time was precious. Lord Nebulon might already have escaped with all the SPF by the time he arrived! "I'll remix the fuel ratio and do a quatro-quantum burn to make up time," he thought. It was risky, but worth it. "This little maneuver's gonna save me 51 days," he thought.
Finally, Chad arrived at the stronghold of The Satellites, where Lord Nebulon's power was based. He easily infiltrated the main facility as heroes are wont to do, his eyes scanning the shadows of every room for any sign of Nebulon. The air crackled with tension as he crept through the labyrinthine corridors, laser sword poised for action.
At last, Chad found Nebulon, sitting atop a throne of pure energy and dressed in an extravagant ensemble that defied conventional fashion. Nebulon exuded an aura of pure roguery. With a devilish look, Lord Nebulon rose from his throne and grabbed his own laser sword. "Ah, Turbosteak, I should have known they would send you. Do you truly believe you can defeat me?"
Chad grinned, his pearly white teeth gleaming. "Evil never stands a chance against the power of justice, Nebulon!"
A spectacular battle ensued. Lasers here; explosions there! At one point it seemed that Turbosteak was finished, but then reaching to his utility belt he pressed the buttons up, down, left, right, A. Suddenly his suit went into Ko-ultra mode! The tide of battle turned, and ended with a flourish when Turbosteak finally stabbed his sword into Lord Nebulon.
"Shishkebobbed," he said with a smirk. But it quickly changed into a disappointed frown as he realized no one was there to hear it.
And so, with the satellite rebellion crushed and the SPF still safe in the skies above Farceon-7, Chad Turbosteak returned to base in the fifth quadrant, always waiting to answer the call of justice and defend the weak.